McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
