So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
