And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am spending my child support on dildos
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
