i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
