you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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