Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
