worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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