...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
