If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
