I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
