Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
