um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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