Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
