no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
