I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
