These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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