Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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