this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
