I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
