it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
