I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its about making memories worth repressing
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
