Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
