Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
