He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
