Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
