Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
