Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have demons in me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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