Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
