Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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