I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
NoShamevember. You game?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
