i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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