That's intense
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
