Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
