pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
