just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
