She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
