So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sobbing to NWA
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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