Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
