You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
