and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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