I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
