She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
