so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
