i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
