you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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