im drinking this country out of the recession.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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