Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
