Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
