I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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