Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
